I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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