dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
