I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it hurts more in the daytime
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
