Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
