I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
