I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
