I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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