A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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