Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
