it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize