I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
why is half of my head shaved?
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