It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize