Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
