I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
