Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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