I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
