It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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