I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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