I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
