I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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