I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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