South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize