And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
