Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
