I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
