Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
