Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
