i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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