okay pat passed out under dana's car
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
