I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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