I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this just has baby written all over it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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