Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
