so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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