I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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