By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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