we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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