i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize