if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
