nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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