If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
