So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
