your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
