If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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