"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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