And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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