Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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