He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
