How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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