i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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