Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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