On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I didn't notice because vodka
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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