Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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