In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
