Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
