he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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