I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
