why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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