ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize