Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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