i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
