reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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