Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
