You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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