As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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