I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
