wat bout pragnant strippers??
if only i could text you this smell
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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