I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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