Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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